Lotusa' questions I have

So everyone seems to be swooning over these new Lotus C-01 motorcycles. They're going on and on and on about how great they look. About the F1-inspired paint jobs and how fresh and original the design is. About the carbon frames and the 200PS ex-KTM engines. All stuff that is admittedly swoon-worthy.

And yet here I am with nary the faintest hint of a swoon. Me, who I firmly believe (and I know best about me, right?) is able to swoon when any-old engine is planted amidst two wheels. No swoon. Not even the slightest whiff of it.

Lotus C-01 uses 200PS ex-KTM 1190 engine

The reason is pretty clear from the "first look review". Well first, I don't even know what that means. Does it imply people so amazingly knowledgeable that they can review motorcycles by merely looking at them? If yes, why are these reviewers saying amid swoons that they're not sure what the Lotus bikes will feel like to ride?

That precisely, is why I'm all out of swoons.

I'm not quite sure what to make of these Lotusses. First, you're going to have at least 13.38 per cent (by my first look assessment) orangutan genes to reach the bars. Which might be useful for posing pictures and not much else because the C-01 looks too long to be able to turn. Most people I know have to negotiate at least three to four turns before they can get from their bedroom to their garage. A 200PS missile that cannot turn should be an interesting ride, no? There is a reason drag racing is a 400m sport. After a point, it's a drag.

Then again, maybe that's the whole no-turning point. That I'm making the mistake of equating two wheels and an engine automatically to a motorcycle. What if the C-01 isn't one? What if it's really more like the elaborate fountain in your driveway? You know, ornamental, functioning, beautiful and expensive, but when you think about it, utterly useless?

In which case, they look like motorcycles but really aren't. That description fits. It explains my lack of swoonyness despite my weakness for the Martini paint job.

I must, now, look past the Lotii and towards other motorcycles. Real motorcycles. The ones that make turns. Make life worth living. Put a smile on your face. And yes, make you swoon. You know, like the 100-odd SuperDuke 1190s that've recently lost their engines...

Agree or disagree? Have your own 'first look review' of the Lotus C-01 images.